Hollywood’s most glittering night, The Academy Awards, is just around the corner. With the speculations running high, film critics Lindsey Bahr and Jake Coyle come up with their own set of awards, aiming to celebrate the overlooked aspects of cinema. Because, let’s face it, who cares about the best picture or the best actor when there are so many more important things to honor?
First up, the award for the best use of CGI must go to the classic sci-fi film, Sharknado. The expert use of graphics to create shark-filled tornadoes was truly visionary, and frankly, deserves much more recognition than it got. Move over Avatar, Sharknado is the true game-changer in visual effects!
Next up, we have the “most cringe-worthy dialogue” award, which goes to Adam Sandler’s Netflix special, Hubie Halloween. With lines like, “If I were lactose intolerant, I’d punch myself in the face”, it’s a wonder how he managed to keep a straight face while delivering these gems.
For the “Best Practical Effects” award, The Mummy starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson is the clear winner. The movie’s prosthetics were so realistic, almost on par with the quality of my niece’s Halloween makeup kits.
When it comes to the “Best Adaptation of a Classic Novel” category, the nod surely goes to Fifty Shades of Grey. E.L. James’ masterpiece was brought to life with stunning accuracy, and even added some artistic enhancements like, well, who can forget Christian Grey’s impressive collection of whips and chains?
And for the “Best Traditions Ignored” award, the trophy goes to the one and only, Academy Awards. Sure, they hand out statues to the best performances, and who cares about diversity and inclusion in Hollywood? It’s all about the film, right?
In the “Most Overrated Film” category, we have the critically acclaimed movie, Citizen Kane. The film’s groundbreaking use of cinematography, lighting, and storytelling techniques may have been great back in the 1940s, but let’s face it, it’s so yesterday’s news. Move over Welles, Sharknado is the true citizen of cinema!
And last but not least, the “Worst Movie of All Time” award couldn’t go to anyone else but The Room. Tommy Wiseau’s masterpiece of awfulness surely deserves this honor for being so horrendously bad that it’s almost good.
So there you have it folks, move aside Academy Awards, the real festivities are in honor of cinema’s most misunderstood and underappreciated aspects. Happy watching!
