In breaking news that is sure to go down in the history books, an Oregon woman’s tongue has officially been measured to have a circumference of 5.21 inches. Yes, you read that right. It seems that not all superheroes wear capes, some just have abnormally large tongues.
The woman, who has chosen to remain anonymous, first caught the attention of local doctors when she showed them her incredible talent of wrapping her tongue around her wrist not once, not twice, but three times. The doctors, stunned by her amazing feat, decided to measure her tongue to see just how impressive it really was.
To put this into perspective, the average adult tongue has a circumference of around 3 inches. So, this woman’s tongue is not just abnormally large, it’s practically a weapon.
After the measurements were taken, the doctors were quick to reassure the woman that her tongue was perfectly healthy and that there was no need for her to worry. But let’s be real here, the only thing she should be worried about is accidentally suffocating someone with that thing.
The woman, who has now become somewhat of a celebrity in her hometown, has been inundated with offers to use her tongue for all sorts of weird and wonderful things. From becoming a human swiffer to starting a new career as a human windshield wiper, the possibilities are endless.
While some people may see this as a disability, we argue that it’s the ultimate superpower. Imagine how much easier it would be to lick the bottom of an ice cream cone or how much faster you could eat a lollipop. This woman is living the dream, and we can only hope that she uses her incredible talent for good.
But not everyone is enamoured with this newfound fame. There are those who say that the woman’s tongue is a hoax, and that the doctors have simply been measuring it wrong. To them we say, “Jealous much?” It’s not every day that you come across someone with an abnormally large tongue, so we suggest you take a leaf out of this woman’s book and embrace your uniqueness.
So, what’s next for this tongue-tastic woman? Only time will tell. But one thing’s for sure, she has certainly put Oregon on the map. Move over, Mount Hood, there’s a new superstar in town.
