In what can only be described as a tragedy of epic proportions, Guinness World Records has announced that they are revoking the title of “oldest dog ever” from a pooch named Bluey. The reason? Apparently, Bluey’s owner, who passed away in the 1930s, didn’t submit proper documentation to prove his age.
Yes, you heard that right. It seems that in the cutthroat world of record-keeping, even our furry friends are subject to the strictest of rules and regulations. Bluey, who was reportedly born in 1910 and died in 1939, lived a long and happy life with his owner, but unfortunately, that’s just not good enough for Guinness.
In a statement released today, a spokesperson for Guinness World Records explained the decision: “While we have no doubt that Bluey was a beloved and cherished pet, we simply cannot award titles without the appropriate documentation. It’s just not fair to other dogs who may have had their rightful place in history taken away by false claims.”
Of course, this decision has left many dog lovers feeling outraged and heartbroken. How dare Guinness strip Bluey of his hard-earned title of “oldest dog ever” based on nothing more than a technicality?
“I mean, come on,” said one pet owner we spoke with. “Bluey lived for almost 30 years! That’s longer than most humans. Who cares if his owner didn’t keep meticulous records? That doesn’t change the fact that he was an incredible dog who lived a remarkable life.”
But apparently, Guinness does care. And they’re not done yet. According to our sources, the record-keeping giant is considering revoking titles from several other famous dogs whose owners failed to properly document their ages.
It’s a sad day indeed when even the world’s most beloved animals are subject to the cold, hard rules of bureaucracy. But we suppose that’s just the way the cookie crumbles (or the bone breaks, as the case may be).
So here’s to you, Bluey. We may never be able to officially call you the “oldest dog ever,” but in our hearts, you’ll always hold that title. And who knows, maybe there’s a special place in doggy heaven where the Guinness World Records are more forgiving. We can only hope.
