Meet Mr. Benjamin Hines, the latest addition to the esteemed group of non-high school graduates who’ve received an honorary high school diploma. At the ripe old age of 106, Hines has finally achieved what he’s been dreaming of for decades. Better late than never, right?
Hines received the diploma from the Darlington County School District in South Carolina, a place that he never actually attended as a high school student. But why let that small detail come in the way of honoring someone who’s lived long enough to see five generations in his family? You do know that the greatest achievement a person can accomplish is getting a diploma that they never actually earned, right?
In today’s day and age, we give honorary degrees and awards to celebrities and public figures like they’re going out of style. For some reason, society sees it as a great achievement to get recognition for doing absolutely nothing. And now, we’re extending this trend to centenarians. Because honestly, what says “achievement” more than simply surviving for a long time?
Let’s take a moment to appreciate the fact that Mr. Hines has been alive long enough to have witnessed major world events like World War II, the Apollo landing on the moon, and the advent of the Internet. But what’s truly impressive is that he managed all of that without the backing of a high school diploma. Because, you know, who really needs formal education when you can just live to be over a century old?
Hines must be feeling pretty good about himself now that he’s finally received this honorary diploma. All those years of not going to school, not studying for exams, and not worrying about grades finally paid off. I bet he feels like a real winner right about now. And, who knows? Maybe he’ll go on to achieve even greater things, like maybe receiving an honorary college degree someday for never having gone to college. Or maybe, he’ll finally get that gold watch he’s been dreaming of since he was 80. The possibilities are endless.
Now, I’m not saying that there isn’t anything impressive about Mr. Hines’s long life or that we shouldn’t celebrate his achievements. But let’s be real – getting an honorary high school diploma for simply breathing for 106 years doesn’t exactly fall under the category of accomplishment. But hey, when you’re 106, you can get pretty much any award you want and no one can say anything bad about it. After all, who wants to be the person who criticizes an old man for receiving an honorary diploma?
In conclusion, congratulations to Mr. Hines on his honorary high school diploma. May it be the first of many awards bestowed upon those who simply managed to get old without dying.
