Airport is “a real genius”
In what has to be the most baffling and ingenious act of smuggling yet, a man from New York City was caught with not one, not two, but three live Burmese pythons in his pants as he passed through a U.S. airport. But the plot thickens as Federal prosecutors have now declared that the man behind this incredible feat is “a real genius”.
The man, whose identity has not yet been released, was spotted acting suspicious by airport staff as he strolled through the airport. Little did they know, the man was currently housing three of the world’s largest and most dangerous snakes in his pants.
Despite the fact that he could have easily put passengers at risk and caused absolute chaos if one of the snakes had gotten loose, prosecutors are now hailing the man as a “real genius”. It seems that in today’s world, we are celebrating the wrong kind of intellect.
Unfortunately for the would-be snake smuggler, he was quickly apprehended by airport security before his reptilian underwear could cause any real harm. The Burmese pythons, however, were taken to a safe and much less confined location.
According to the prosecutors, the perpetrator should be praised for his creative and bold idea to transport the snakes in such a discreet manner. “We are truly impressed by his ability to stuff not one, not two, but THREE massive snakes down his pants.” the prosecutor stated.
It is not yet known what the man had planned to do with the pythons once he had smuggled them through the airport, but if our airport security personnel hadn’t been paying attention, it could have been disastrous. We can only hope that the full force of the law is brought down on this “genius” for his brazen and dangerous actions.
It is concerning that this man’s successful attempt to smuggle these dangerous reptiles through airport security is being taken as an example of cunning intellect. Perhaps instead of celebrating this kind of behavior, we should be investing in better security measures to prevent such harmful acts from ever occurring in the first place.
In conclusion, while this man may seem like a modern-day hero to some, we must remember that his actions were not only unlawful but also potentially life-threatening to those around him. We urge anyone considering smuggling large snakes in their pants to rethink their life choices and consider the consequences of their actions.
