Concord, New Hampshire – In a move that has many scratching their heads and wondering about the priorities of the state’s lawmakers, one elected official is seeking to establish an official pronunciation of the name of the state’s capital city. Yes, you read that right. There is apparently still enough time and resources in the state legislature to address such pressing issues as whether “Con-cord” or “Con-cahd” is the correct way to say the name of the capital.
State Representative Scott Wallace, a Republican from Danville, has recently proposed a bill that would create an official pronunciation of Concord. “It’s important that we finally put this matter to rest,” said Wallace during a recent interview. “This issue has been plaguing residents of our state for far too long, causing unnecessary confusion and embarrassment in public forums.”
The bill, as proposed, would establish “Con-cahd” as the official and correct pronunciation of Concord. Representative Wallace based his decision on extensive research and consultations with his constituents over the past several months.
“It’s really the only sensible option,” argued Wallace. “All the locals I’ve spoken with agree that the ‘ah’ sound is the true and authentic way to say Concord. It’s how we’ve always pronounced it, and it’s just plain wrong to say it any other way.”
But not everyone is on board with Representative Wallace’s proposed solution. Critics of the bill have pointed out that there are far more pressing issues facing the state legislature than the pronunciation of the capital’s name. Some have gone so far as to accuse Wallace of leading a crusade that is a complete waste of time and taxpayer money.
“Seriously, who cares how you say Concord?” asked one local resident. “We’ve got bigger problems to worry about, like the opioid epidemic or our crumbling infrastructure. The last thing we need is for our lawmakers to waste time on this nonsense.”
Others have also expressed skepticism about Wallace’s methodology, noting that his research consisted solely of asking his neighbors and friends, and hardly constituted a representative sample of the entire state’s population.
“So let me get this straight,” said one opponent of the bill. “Some guy from Danville goes around asking his buddies how to say Concord, and then decides that ‘Con-cahd’ is the right way to say it. And now we’re supposed to put that into law? Give me a break.”
Despite the mounting criticism, Representative Wallace remains confident that he is on the right track. He believes that the proposed bill will only serve to bring a sense of unity and clarity to the state’s residents, and ensure that they can all speak about the capital city with a common understanding.
“It’s time to finally say goodbye to all the confusion and miscommunication that has plagued us for too long,” said Wallace. “Let’s come together as a state and say ‘Con-cahd’ with pride and confidence. That’s what this bill is all about.”
