Gargantuan Spider Donated to Australian Reptile Park, Because Who Needs Sleep Anyway?
In a move that has arachnophobes across the continent trembling with fear, the Australian Reptile Park has announced the acquisition of “Hercules,” a funnel web spider believed to be the largest specimen of its kind.
Despite the obvious risks associated with housing such a massive spider, the park officials seem confident in their decision to bring Hercules into their collection.
According to representatives from the park, Hercules will be used in their antivenom program, which aims to develop and distribute remedies for the bites of venomous spiders like – you guessed it – funnel webs.
But let’s be real here: is having a spider the size of a small car really worth potentially fueling the nightmares of every visitor to the park? We imagine it now: terrified children clinging to their parents, adults breaking out into a cold sweat, all at the sight of Hercules looming in his enclosure.
Still, the park is apparently thrilled about their new addition, with General Manager Tim Faulkner exclaiming that it’s a “fantastic example” of the species and its importance in developing antivenom. We’re sure all the screaming visitors will agree.
Hercules, who was captured in New South Wales, is believed to be around three times the size of an average funnel web. At his largest, he measures at 7.5 centimeters tall and 3.8 centimeters across. In other words, he’s big enough to make even the bravest among us consider avoiding Australia entirely.
But in the spirit of being fair, there’s no denying that the Australian Reptile Park has an admirable mission in developing antivenom for these dangerous spiders. After all, funnel web spiders are responsible for numerous deaths each year in Australia.
And perhaps, just perhaps, bringing Hercules into captivity makes a certain amount of sense – if only to keep him from biting unsuspecting citizens. Plus, we have to admit we’re curious about how a spider this size even eats or spins its webs. You know, in a nightmare-inducing sort of way.
Either way, it’ll certainly be interesting to see how the park’s antivenom program progresses now that it has such an impressive specimen to work with. But for the rest of us, we’ll be steering clear of the park – just in case Hercules decides to use his powers for evil.
