Residents in Washington state were left in shock recently when a Cold War-era rocket, capable of carrying a nuclear warhead, was discovered in the garage of a deceased resident’s home. In a statement released by the police department, officials confirmed that the rocket had been deemed “inert.” But let’s face it, who could ever feel comfortable knowing that this death machine was previously owned and harboured by their neighbour?
The discovery of the nuclear missile has sparked concerns across the state, with many questioning how this rocket found its way into a residential area. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves; it’s perfectly normal for deceased residents to keep weapons of mass destruction in their garages, right?
Speaking to local news reporters, Sergeant John Doe said, “We strongly advise against keeping missiles in your garage, and if you do happen to have one, please let us know before you, you know, die.” It’s worth noting that the police department isn’t in the business of purchasing outdated nuclear missiles, but on the other hand, if you find one lying around, just give them a call.
The missile in question is thought to date back to the Cold War era, a time when nuclear war was hanging over the world like a hangover after a wild night out. But let’s not worry too much; it’s not as though the missile could’ve accidentally detonated and destroyed half of Washington, now is it?
Sure, some would argue that keeping weapons of mass destruction in a residential area is a little dangerous, but let’s not be alarmist. After all, it’s not as though nukes have a history of causing catastrophic damage, right? Just ask the people of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, for instance.
In fact, who wouldn’t want to keep a missile in their garage? It could make for an excellent conversation starter at dinner parties. Not to mention, your neighbours would definitely think twice before not returning your hedge trimmer. Plus, if the zombie apocalypse ever happened, you’d have the ultimate weapon to protect yourself with. Silver linings and all that.
Some have questioned how a missile like this could have ended up in a residential area, but again, we shouldn’t jump to any conclusions. Perhaps the homeowner was just a bit of a hoarder and couldn’t bear to part with it, or maybe they were using it as a coat rack. Whatever the reason, we shouldn’t be too quick to judge.
In conclusion, the discovery of a nuclear missile in a residential area might seem alarming, but let’s not make a mountain out of a molehill. After all, it’s not as though the previous owner had any intention of using it, right? Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to go check if there are any secret nukes lurking in my neighbour’s garage.
