Florida Man Reportedly Loses Fight Against Alligator Breaking Into His Home
In a tale as old as time, a Florida man woke up to find an intruder rummaging through his home. But this wasn’t just any old burglar – it was an alligator.
Sheriff’s deputies were called to the scene to remove the cold-blooded criminal, who reportedly refused to leave even after being politely asked by the homeowner.
“I mean, it’s not like we don’t have a home security system,” the homeowner, who wished to remain anonymous, said. “But I don’t think our cameras are programmed to detect alligators.”
When the deputies arrived, they found the reptile lounging comfortably in the living room, seemingly unconcerned about the commotion it had caused.
“It was just chilling there like it belonged,” one deputy said. “I have to say, I was impressed by its confidence.”
Using their best reptile-removing tactics, the deputies were finally able to corral the alligator out of the home. But not before it left a bit of a mess behind.
“I don’t want to say it was deliberately trying to cause trouble, but it definitely knocked over a lamp or two while it was making its escape,” the homeowner said.
This isn’t the first time an alligator has attempted a home invasion in Florida. In fact, it’s becoming a disturbingly common occurrence.
“It’s like they think they can just waltz into people’s homes and help themselves to the fridge,” one resident of the area said. “I mean, where’s the civility in that?”
Authorities are urging residents to remain vigilant and keep all doors and windows securely locked, lest they fall victim to an alligator break-in.
In the meantime, the alligator in question has been taken into custody and is being held on charges of breaking and entering.
“It’s a shame, really,” one deputy said. “I mean, it didn’t hurt anyone. It just wanted a warm place to hang out for a while. But rules are rules, I guess.”
As for the homeowner, he says he’ll be investing in some sturdier locks and maybe even a guard dog.
“I know some people in Florida like having alligators as pets,” he says. “But I think I’ll stick to something a little less… bitey.”
