In what could possibly be the most thrilling news story of the year, an Indian woman has earned a world record for having a whopping 38 teeth in her mouth. Yep, you read that right. Move over, world leaders doing important things – this is the news story we’ve all been waiting for.
The woman, whose name has not been disclosed, hails from a small village in India and was said to have visited the dentist after experiencing some discomfort while chewing her favourite food, paan. Undeterred by the fact that most people have a measly 32 teeth, this woman strutted into the dentist’s office and showed off her pearly whites – or rather, pearly ivory. The dentist was reportedly so impressed by her freakish dental situation, that he immediately contacted the folks at Guinness World Records who promptly sent a team over to verify her claim.
In a statement released by Guinness, the woman can be seen grinning from ear to ear – or rather, from wisdom tooth to wisdom tooth – as she proudly displays her extra teeth. “I am thrilled to have been recognised for my unique dental situation,” she exclaims. “I always knew that having an extra set of teeth would come in handy one day.”
We can only imagine how jealous the rest of us with only 32 teeth are feeling right about now. Who needs a full set of teeth anyway? Clearly, this woman has no trouble chomping down on all the hard-to-eat foods like corn on the cob, toffee apples, and giant jawbreakers.
Of course, it’s not just her impressive dental situation that has earned her worldwide attention. Now, we can add “World Record Holder” to her list of accomplishments. Move over, Usain Bolt – we have a real winner in our midst. And don’t even get us started on all those Olympic athletes training for years to become the best in their respective fields. Pfft, what a waste of time and effort.
Some have criticised the woman and suggested that her extra teeth indicate some sort of genetic anomaly. But we know that they’re just jealous, bitter, and missing out on all the great perks that come with having an additional set of teeth.
The woman has already stated that she has no plans to remove any of her teeth, despite the potential health risks. Why would she? Clearly, the benefits of having an additional six teeth – yes, we counted – far outweigh any potential downsides.
So there you have it, folks. The news story we’ve all been waiting for. Move over, politics and breaking news stories. It’s officially the year of the extra teeth.
