Local Woman Pursues Lifelong Dream of Irritating Everyone by Singing for 126 Hours
In a valiant attempt to make the world a more annoying place, a Ghanaian woman recently attempted to break the Guinness World Record for Longest Singing Marathon by humming and belting away for an astounding 126 hours and 52 minutes.
According to sources, the woman, whose name we won’t mention because we’re not sure if we want to subject anyone to her singing, embarked on this selfless endeavor to fulfill her lifelong dream of making people’s ears bleed with her voice.
“This has been a dream of mine ever since I was a little girl,” the woman reportedly said in an interview. “I’ve always wanted to sing for hours and hours nonstop, just to see the stunned looks on people’s faces as they realize what a terrible mistake it was to lend me their ears.”
And boy, did she succeed in achieving her dream. The woman sang everything from traditional African songs to modern pop hits, all while subjecting the audience to her unique style of caterwauling. Some witnesses even reported hearing stray dogs howling in pain from several blocks away.
Despite the obvious pain and suffering she was causing to everyone around her, the woman
