London police have made a breakthrough in the heist of a Banksy artwork – in a case that could rival the intricacies of any heist-movie plot. They’ve not only arrested one, but two suspects, as if one criminal mastermind wasn’t enough for them to deal with.
The artwork in question is a stop sign adorned with military drones. It would be a surprise if someone didn’t steal it – the sign had the potential to make any rebel with a cause’s heart flutter with exhilaration. But now, the authorities are finally getting down to the nitty-gritty of the case. And aren’t we all so proud of them for catching up?
One can only imagine the shame that the first arrested individual must be feeling now. He’s now playing second fiddle to an even bigger criminal mastermind. I guess the title of “most cunning thief” was too much fun to give up. The second individual should be formally recognised as such since he’s apparently made a fool out of the entire London police force. They will probably throw a party in his honour, but keep an eye on your Banksy artwork everyone, they might invite themselves over to see it and accidentally “misplace” it.
While the authorities are giving themselves a pat on the back in the form of a press release about the second arrest, one wonders what else is next. A third suspect – or perhaps a fourth – may be lurking in the shadows, giggling at the incompetence of the police force. We’re all on the edge of our seats with bated breaths – wondering about the next twist and turn in this thrilling saga.
However, one cannot help but applaud the authorities for taking this heist very seriously. Stealing a Banksy artwork is like stealing a piece of history, and one should always leave that job to the professionals. Or at least to those who are better at it than these two criminals.
Perhaps the public can now rest easy knowing that the authorities are now focusing on the bigger issues plaguing society – such as the theft of highly revered graffiti. The days of worrying about murders, burglaries, and drug dealing are over; we can all sleep soundly knowing that the protection of stop-sign graffiti has become a top priority. Let’s all give ourselves a big round of applause, it’s a small victory for mankind.
All in all, it’s wonderful to see that the London police force is doing its best to solve the case of the missing Banksy artwork. But one has to wonder, when was the last time the authorities were so quick to solve a case that didn’t involve missing public art? Hopefully, the thieves will be brought to justice soon, and the sign can be returned to its rightful place. Until then, let’s just sit back and enjoy the media circus around it all. After all, who needs actual news when we can all just be fixated on the heist of a stop sign decorated with drones?
