Breaking News: Ohio Highway Shut Down, The Reason Will Make Willy Wonka Proud
A massive accident caused the highway running through Ohio to be closed this morning. Traffic came to a screeching halt, but was it due to a massive chain-reaction crash? Nope, it was far more delicious than that. Two semi trucks collided and the result was a highway covered in candy!
That’s right, boxes upon boxes of sweet, delicious candy were strewn all over the road. Chocolate and caramel cascaded out onto the pavement, and drivers probably had to fight the urge to dive out of their cars and start snacking.
Of course, safety first, so the emergency services arrived at the scene to deal with the situation. But what is up with using up valuable emergency services on something so delightful? You might as well call the police to come to your birthday party too!
The road was closed for hours, as work crews scrambled to clear all the candy. Pigs are known to get smothered in chocolate, so we hope the responders did not get tempted by this cocoa aroma en route!
By all accounts, this resulted in a massive traffic jam. But this brings up a more important issue. Why did the launch of this new candy not have some sort of warning system in place? It’s not like this kind of problem is unheard of! In fact, how confident can we be in a company that can’t even transport its candy safely? Just imagine if it starts raining chocolates, we might need a warning to wear helmets before we step out.
Some people might think this is good news considering that in times like these, we could all use some sweetness in our lives. At least there was no accident, nobody was injured, and who doesn’t like a surprise chocolate-covered highway on their morning commute?!
The real losers, of course, are the poor truck drivers. How do you explain this sort of mishap to your boss? Maybe explain that they wanted to attract business on Valentine’s Day?
The accident has also raised questions about the safety of highways and the safety measures in place. The debate of whether or not it’s safe to transport such delicious items like candy on highways has been reignited. Candy is known to be a dangerous and addictive substance, we’re not sure its safe for the public at large.
So now we wait to see what comes next. Ambulances with insulin pumps waiting on the side of the road? Helicopters dropping bread to soak up chocolate? It will be a wild ride from here on out!
