Illinois Secretary of State Alexi Giannoulias has just dropped a bombshell that will rock the very foundation of the vanity plate industry! More than 300 vanity plates have been rejected for featuring potentially “lewd, offensive or even dangerous language.” Oh, the horror!
Giannoulias, in a moment of triumph, released some of the most egregious examples of these filthy plates. Brace yourselves, folks. Here they come:
1. “HOT WIFE” – I mean, really? Is there anything more lewd and offensive than a wife who is considered “hot”? This plate is downright dangerous, as it might cause fender benders and general mayhem on the highways and byways of Illinois.
2. “2OLD4U” – Here’s a plate that practically screams, “I’m too old to have any fun.” The danger here is that motorists behind this driver may become overly depressed and lose their will to live.
3. “CANTWIN” – This plate is just asking for trouble. Imagine being stuck in traffic behind someone who proclaims to the world that they can’t win. It’s a recipe for road rage and car accidents.
4. “WHYTRY” – Another plate that is just begging for a rear-end collision. Who wants to be behind a driver who has given up on life and asks the question “why try?” Indeed, why try at all?
5. “LUVGUNS” – This plate is downright dangerous! The last thing we need on the streets are drivers who are advertising that they love guns. It’s a recipe for disaster.
After releasing these horrific plates for the world to see, Giannoulias went on to say, “We take our responsibility to ensure that Illinois roads are safe very seriously. These rejected plates demonstrate our commitment to keeping our highways free of lewd, offensive, and potentially dangerous language.”
While it’s heartening to know that Illinois is doing its part to keep us all safe from the scourge of vanity plates, some drivers are pushing back.
One aggrieved driver, who wished to remain anonymous, said, “I don’t see the problem with my ‘HOT ROD’ plate. It’s not like I’m advertising my wife’s hotness or anything. This is just ridiculous.”
Another driver, who had their “BEERME” plate rejected, quipped, “I guess I’ll have to go back to using my turn signal to communicate with other drivers.”
Despite the pushback, it’s clear that Illinois is fighting the good fight against vanity plate indecency. Who knows what other depravity lurks behind the walls of the DMV? We can only hope that Giannoulias and his team continue to protect us from the evil that lies within.
