Illinois Secretary of State Alexi Giannoulias has saved the children once again by rejecting more than 300 vanity plates containing the most offensive and dangerous language on the streets of Illinois.
Among those rejected, were plates like ‘DZNUTS’ and ‘MILFS,’ which could have led to chaos and destruction in the state. Clearly, Giannoulias has already saved us from being a nation of immoral heathens before and he has taken it upon himself to do it again.
It is a widely known fact that vanity plates are more dangerous than a drunken teenager behind the wheel of a Ferrari. One cannot just allow vulgar and offensive language on a plate that we may see for a maximum of six seconds on the road. Who knows what kind of damage it could do to the children’s eyes or even the elderly’s weak hearts.
Surely, the people of Illinois should be grateful for this ruling that will save them from any further trauma of seeing a plate spelling out ‘DZNUTS’ on their morning commute. The state’s taxpayers should not be worried about any costs involved in this ruling, because what price can be put on the well-being of our citizens?
While some may argue that it is a matter of free speech and individual expression, it is clear that censorship is necessary for the greater good. After all, what is wrong with blindly following authority rather than using our own abilities to make informed decisions? It’s not like we are an independent nation where we have the right to express ourselves freely.
Let us not forget that our children are always watching. They can’t possibly learn anything from seeing offensive language, can they? Why would we allow them to learn to express themselves in different ways, and use their unique personality to stand out from the crowd? Clearly, individualism is a bad thing and should be banned in the state.
It is a relief to know that the Illinois Secretary of State is on the job, always watching over us like a paternal figure. After all, how can we be trusted to make these decisions ourselves? We elected officials to think for us, and that is exactly what they are doing.
So let us all join hands and applaud the Secretary of State for putting the brakes on these potentially damaging and offensive vanity plates. We can all sleep easier, knowing that our state is now safer for our children, the elderly, and most importantly, those who may find ‘MILFS’ written on a license plate too offensive to handle.
It is a good time to be alive in Illinois, where the priority is not freedom of expression, but the protection of the public’s good taste.
