Florida Man Cited for ‘Booty Patrol’ Truck’s Resemblance to Border Patrol Vehicle: Officials Point Out He Forgot to Add a Gun Rack
In an unexpected twist of events, a Florida man has been cited by local authorities for driving a vehicle that allegedly resembles a Border Patrol car. The absurdity of the situation is not lost on anyone, especially considering the fact that the offending vehicle has been dubbed the “Booty Patrol” truck, and is covered in pictures of asses of all shapes and sizes.
Several eyewitnesses have reported seeing the Booty Patrol truck cruising around town with its owner, a man known only as “Big Booty Bill.” According to these witnesses, the truck is often accompanied by a raucous soundtrack blaring out of the windows, consisting mainly of songs about derrieres.
Officials have expressed grave concern about the “Booty Patrol” truck’s resemblance to an actual Border Patrol vehicle. “It’s a real threat to public safety,” said one local sheriff. “People could mistake it for an actual law enforcement vehicle and that could cause chaos on the roads.”
When asked for comment, Big Booty Bill claimed that the resemblance to a Border Patrol car was purely coincidental. “I just like the colors of the Border Patrol cars,” he said. “And I figured, why not slap some butt pictures on it? It’s just a bit of harmless fun.”
Despite his protestations, however, officials were quick to point out that the Booty Patrol truck was missing one key feature that all Border Patrol vehicles have: a gun rack. “Clearly, Mr. Booty Bill forgot to add a gun rack to his ride,” said another official. “Without that, he’s just not fooling anyone.”
It remains to be seen whether Big Booty Bill will be forced to remove the offending images from his vehicle or not. However, he has vowed to fight the citation with all the butt-shaped ammunition he can muster.
“I’m not going to let them tell me what kind of pictures I can put on my ride,” he declared. “This is America, damn it, and I have the right to express myself however I want. And if that means driving around in a truck covered in booty pictures, then so be it.”
In the meantime, the Booty Patrol truck continues to roam the streets of Florida, spreading joy and cheer wherever it goes. And while some may find it offensive or tasteless, there’s no denying that it’s certainly memorable. After all, how many other vehicles can you think of that have been cited for looking like Border Patrol cars?
