In a truly shocking turn of events, the world record for most pushups in one hour has been broken for the second time in a month. I know, I can hardly contain my excitement either.
The previous record of 2,682 pushups was set just a few short weeks ago, but that apparently wasn’t enough for one determined athlete. This time around, the bar was raised to an astounding 2,825 pushups in 60 minutes. Truly, this is what the world needs right now – more people doing an insane number of pushups in a short amount of time.
The athlete who broke the record, whose name I don’t care to mention because honestly who cares, apparently trained for months in order to achieve this feat. Because what’s the point of having a hobby or spending time with loved ones when you can dedicate your life to something as important as pushing your body to its absolute limit?
According to sources, the athlete completed the pushups at a gym where dozens of supporters cheered him on. Because what better way to spend your time than watching someone else do a mundane exercise for an hour straight? Truly, I envy those supporters and their exciting weekend plans.
The athlete himself spoke to reporters after the event, saying, “I’m just so happy to have broken the record. All those months of training were totally worth it.” You know what else is totally worth it? Spending years perfecting a craft or building a meaningful relationship. But I guess breaking world records is cool too.
I can’t help but wonder what other world records we could be breaking if we all just dedicated ourselves to pointless physical challenges. Maybe someone could try to run on a treadmill for 24 hours straight, or do the most sit-ups in an hour, or perhaps even spin around in circles for an entire day. The possibilities are truly endless.
In conclusion, I don’t think I’ve ever been more inspired by something so utterly pointless in my entire life. Here’s to all the athletes out there who are sacrificing their own well-being for the sake of breaking obscure world records that no one else cares about. You are the real heroes, and we are definitely not just quietly judging you from afar.
