Florida – In a stunning feat of cheese, cured meat, and cracker engineering, a new world record has been set for the largest charcuterie board, and it all went down in the Sunshine State.
Yes, that’s right. Flamingo capitol of the world, Florida, is now home to the largest charcuterie board ever assembled. The board measured over 400ft long, was made up of over 10,000 different types of meat and cheese, and reportedly caused a stampede amongst lactose intolerant festival attendees.
The event that took place at the Cheese N Wine Festival, located in Tampa Bay, and essentially turned into a cheese and meat based carnival. The atmosphere was electric as massive crowds gathered to witness the monolithic board taking up an entire football field.
One attendee commented: “I feel like I’m in a deli, but without the smells and the pleasant demeanor of the staff.”
Sources report that organizers spent months planning the spectacle, recruiting the top charcuterie talents from all over the world to construct the board. The amount of work and dedication behind the scenes is something to be admired, like building the Great Wall, but with brie.
It’s easy to see why the event was such a success as people gathered from all over the state to sample the meats and cheeses on offer. Some even flew in from other states to witness this historic feat of gluttony.
However, not all Floridians were impressed with the event. One local man was heard saying: “I don’t understand the hype. It’s just a bunch of meat, cheese, and crackers arranged in an orderly fashion. It’s not rocket science.”
While some may argue with the merits of such an event, it can’t be denied that it has brought the attention of the world to Florida. It’s obvious from the many stunned faces and awed gasps that this event will surely go down in the history books as one of the greatest achievements of our time.
After the event was over, the attendees were reportedly too full to walk to their cars, causing a traffic jam and an outbreak of heartburn. A small price to pay for the glory of the world’s largest charcuterie board.
So Florida, congratulations on breaking the record for the world’s largest cheese and meat board! You’ve proved to the world that you’re not just home to Disney World and alligators.
