Residents in the small town of Ohio were left scratching their heads recently, as a mysterious smell descended upon the area. The unmistakable odor had locals wriggling their noses and complaining to anyone who would listen, wondering where on earth it was coming from.
After several days of speculation, officials have finally revealed the source of the odor. Surprise, surprise, it was a local chemical company. Who would have guessed?
Thankfully, officials have reassured the public that the smell is not in fact a health risk, but really, what could possibly go wrong? It’s just a chemical company after all. We should probably just take their word for it.
The chemical company in question, named “We Promise It’s Safe Inc.”, released a statement claiming that the smell was caused by a “routine maintenance issue”. Nothing to see here folks, just a regular old, completely safe, maintenance issue.
Locals were not entirely convinced, and rightfully so. To them, it seemed more like We Promise It’s Safe were trying to pass the buck and scapegoat maintenance as the source of the issue, rather than the chemicals themselves. How dare they try to pull the wool over our eyes like that.
To further cement their safety credentials, officials from We Promise It’s Safe revealed that they had performed a thorough inspection of the site and found no evidence of any toxic chemicals or pollutants. Oh, well that’s alright then. I guess we should just forget about the smell and go back to our daily lives, breathing in the delightful scents of fresh chemical production.
Of course, the local authorities and We Promise It’s Safe are working closely together to ensure that the smell dissipates as quickly as possible, but it seems that we will all just have to endure the smell until they figure it out.
Some locals have even taken to social media to suggest that We Promise It’s Safe should just change their name to “We Promise It’s Safe Unless You Breathe In”, which I think is a fantastic suggestion. Maybe they can even produce some branded t-shirts for us fashion-conscious folks to buy.
While it’s all well and good for officials and chemical companies to tell us that everything is hunky dory, it’s important to remember that we should always keep an eye on things and hold those responsible accountable. Just because they say it’s safe, doesn’t necessarily mean that it is.
In the meantime, I think we should all invest in some nice scented candles to mask the smell. Maybe something floral, or perhaps something more woody. Whatever our personal preference may be, I think we can all agree that it’s better than having our homes smelling like We Promise It’s Safe’s idea of routine maintenance.
