August 24th has been dubbed America’s “worst day” for sick leave absences, according to a new study. The study, conducted by the National Institute of Procrastination, found that nearly 75% of all sick leave requests made on this day were entirely fabricated.
“It’s really quite fascinating,” said lead researcher Dr. Mia Laziness. “We found that August 24th is one of the last days of summer, which means people are itching to take advantage of the warm weather and sneak in a few extra days of vacation. And what better way to do that than by calling in sick?”
While the study’s findings have been met with some skepticism, many employees are nodding in agreement.
“I mean, c’mon, who wants to work on August 24th?” said Tyler Johnson, a marketing coordinator from Boston. “It’s practically a national holiday at this point.”
But not everyone is as thrilled about the prospect of a mass outbreak of “sick” employees. Some employers have expressed frustration about the lack of productivity on the day in question.
“We’ve noticed a massive uptick in sick leave requests on August 24th,” said Tim Rogers, owner of a small accounting firm in Chicago. “It’s really a burden on us and our clients when half the staff is out of the office.”
The study’s authors suggest that one way to combat this phenomenon is to simply accept that nobody wants to work on August 24th and make it an official company-wide holiday.
“We actually think that this could be a win-win situation for everyone involved,” said Dr. Laziness. “Employees get their day off, employers can plan accordingly, and there’s no more need for all these fake sick leave requests.”
But until that day comes, it’s likely that August 24th will continue to be the most popular day for “sick” employees across the country.
“I’m not saying I’ve ever done it myself, but I definitely understand the temptation,” said Johnson. “I mean, why work when you can be chilling on the beach?”
In the meantime, employers should probably brace themselves for another year of mass ‘sickies’ on August 24th. After all, it’s much easier to fake a cold than it is to fake enthusiasm for work on a summer day.
