Headline: Workers make groundbreaking discovery: Digging shortcut through Great Wall lands them in jail
In a shocking turn of events, two workers have been arrested for committing the unspeakable crime of digging a shortcut through the Great Wall of China. The workers, who were employed for a construction company working on renovations to the wall, reportedly began the project in secret, presumably in the hopes of being praised as heroes for creating a faster route for tourists.
However, their dreams of glory were quickly dashed when authorities caught wind of their scheme. The workers were swiftly arrested and charged with “damaging a major national monument,” a crime that carries a potential sentence of up to 10 years in prison.
But don’t worry, folks – it’s not like the Great Wall is an important cultural artifact or anything. I mean, who needs 2,300 years of history when you can shave a few minutes off your Instagram-worthy hike, right?
In fact, we here at the news desk think the workers should be applauded for their innovative thinking. After all, who wants to walk all the way to the actual entrance of the Great Wall when you can just dig a hole and save a few steps? It’s not like anyone comes to China to see ancient relics or anything.
Speaking of relics, let’s talk about how outdated the Great Wall is, shall we? I mean, sure, it may have been an impressive feat of engineering when it was built in 221 BC, but let’s be real – it’s 2021. Who needs walls anymore? We have drones and missiles and stuff.
Plus, have you ever been to the Great Wall? It’s crowded. Like, really crowded. If these workers were just trying to alleviate some of the congestion, can we really blame them? I mean, personally, I’d much rather crawl through a muddy tunnel than fight my way through a sea of selfie sticks and tour groups.
But of course, common sense never prevailed in this situation. Instead, we have two hardworking (albeit misguided) individuals facing a decade in jail for trying to make life a little bit easier for their fellow man. It’s really a shame, isn’t it?
Ultimately, we must ask ourselves: what is the cost of progress? Is it worth sacrificing a small piece of history in the name of efficiency? Can we really put a price tag on our time and convenience?
Well, apparently the Chinese government can – and that price tag is 10 years behind bars. So if you’re thinking about digging a hole in one of China’s cultural monuments, you might want to reconsider. Unless, of course, you’re willing to sacrifice your freedom for the sake of a few extra minutes on the clock.
