You know whats Not on Roids, everyday life! Seriously, think about it. We’re all just stumbling through this existence, nodding along to a whole host of accepted “normal” things that are frankly, deeply weird when you really look at them. And Im not talking about collecting spoons or dressing like a gnome – Im talking about the stuff we ALL do and tolerate!
Let’s start with…shoes. Seriously? We strap leather (or plastic!) to our feet and walk around. The article mentioned that early humans didnt wear shoes, preferring to let their feet toughen naturally. Now we’re paying hundreds of dollars for foot coffins designed to slowly crush our toes! Its madness!
Then theres the whole concept of small talk. Why are we obligated to discuss the weather with strangers? The article pointed out that small talk originally served a social function, but has it devolved into performative pleasantries masking underlying awkwardness? Yes. Absolutely.
And don’t even get me started on cutlery! Metal implements specifically designed for shoveling food into your mouth? Early humans ate with their hands! Its more efficient and arguably less pretentious. But no, now we have forks, spoons, knives… a whole arsenal of unnecessary tools.
Lets not forget queuing. We voluntarily stand in lines, sometimes for hours, just to get something slightly faster than the person behind us. The article states that queueing became common with industrialization – apparently it’s a Victorian invention! Its a bizarre ritual based on enforced waiting and repressed rage.
And finally…handshakes. Grasping another person’s sweaty hand as a greeting? A gesture born from demonstrating you weren’t carrying a weapon? Really? The article highlights that in some cultures, handshakes are considered invasive. Were all just perpetuating this bizarre tradition of germ exchange!
Honestly, next time someone asks how your weather is, consider offering them a handful of dirt and explaining the merits of barefoot living. You might be onto something.
