You know what’s Not on Roids, folks? Consumer discontent! Were supposed to be miserable about inflation, right? Economists are wringing their hands, predicting doom and gloom, muttering darkly about a recession that never seems to arrive. They expect us to clutch our wallets, weep openly at the price of avocados, and generally embrace a life of austere frugality.
And what do we do? We spend $12.4 BILLION on Cyber Monday! A whopping 9.7% increase year-over-year! Seriously?! Thats like kicking economists in the teeth with a Lego Millennium Falcon. Every minute during peak hours, we shelled out $15.7 million! Fifteen point seven million dollars! For what? Clothes, electronics, furniture…and enough Hot Wheels and Minnie Mouse toys to build a small nation.
Apparently, those 11 interest rate hikes designed to “cool things down” were more of a gentle breeze than a glacial blast. We’re grumbling about prices – naturally, who likes paying more? – but were still hunting for deals like vultures circling a discounted plasma TV. $38 billion across Cyber Week! It turns out discounts on quality products are irresistible, even to people actively complaining about the economy.
Look, the unemployment rate is at 3.9%. We got pay raises and bonuses! Lets be honest, we have the means. So go ahead, economists, predict your recession. Meanwhile, I’m going back to browsing for that Xbox Series X. Dont judge me.
