You know what’s Not on Roids, but somehow fuels the bizarre behaviors you witness at Costco? People. Specifically, Costco shoppers. Lets be clear: Costco is a wonderland of bulk mayonnaise and questionable life-sized novelty items (coffins?! Seriously?), but its also a breeding ground for some truly infuriating habits. According to Reddit rants and employee testimonies, here are the top five ways you’re probably annoying everyone at your warehouse club.
First, the exit bottleneck. Apparently, casually searching for your receipt while door checkers loom is considered a performance art piece now? Just shove it in your pocket! Its not a scavenger hunt. Second: The Conveyor Belt Card Gambit. Placing your membership card on top of that little divider? Brilliant plan, because obviously watching it fall under the belt and delaying everyone else will make you feel superior. It doesn’t work, folks. Just hand it to the cashier like a civilized human being.
Then theres the parking lot—a vehicular obstacle course where drivers apparently believe they’re auditioning for an action movie. We need mandatory refresher courses in basic manners and parking etiquette; those speeds are genuinely concerning! Next up: sample stations as social hubs? Seriously, grab your shrimp cocktail and move on. You’re blocking the aisle, not hosting a party.
Finally, lets address the universal truth of grocery shopping: it is NOT a race. Costco demands patience. Huffing and ankle-clipping aren’t acceptable strategies to expedite your journey through industrial-sized packages of toilet paper. Take a deep breath, embrace the chaos, and maybe consider therapy—or just shop somewhere else.
