Feathered Felons and Frozen Rail Lines: Seriously?!
You know, Im starting to suspect that Staten Island’s entire transportation system is actively conspiring against me. Twice. Twice in two hours! The cause? Not a mechanical failure, not budget cuts, not even a rogue pigeon with a vendetta. No, apparently it’s turkeys. Yes, you read that correctly. Turkeys.
Are these majestic birds now considered public transit hazards? Do they hold some sort of avian right to stroll leisurely across the rails, blissfully unaware theyre single-handedly disrupting commutes for thousands? I picture them, strutting with a smug air, probably plotting their next blockade while commuters fume and schedules crumble.
It’s utterly ridiculous! We pay exorbitant fares for this privilege – the privilege of having our journeys routinely interrupted by poultry. It’s supposed to be reliable transportation. Is that too much to ask? Apparently so. Because now Im factoring Turkey Obstruction Delay into my travel time, alongside “Signal Malfunction” and “Unexpected Track Work.”
I’m genuinely curious: does anyone have a plan for this? Are we going to start employing turkey wranglers? Building miniature overpasses specifically for gobbling wildlife? Because if not, Im investing in roller skates. At least they won’t be held hostage by a flock of feathered freeloaders.
