The Peak of Human Achievement, Apparently
So, a blindfolded woman identified nineteen Barbie dolls in three minutes. Nineteen! Let’s just pause and collectively consider how utterly…remarkable this is. Truly, we are living in an age of unprecedented accomplishment. Forget curing cancer, solving world hunger, or achieving interstellar travel – this is the pinnacle of what humanity can achieve. A woman, unable to see, correctly pointed out a collection of plastic figurines representing unrealistic beauty standards and consumerist excess.
Im not even kidding! We’re celebrating this? Is this supposed to inspire us? Should children now aspire to be blindfolded Barbie identifiers? I envision classrooms across the nation – “Advanced Barbie Sensory Discrimination: Level One.” The future is bright, folks!
And honestly, what does it prove? That someone has a keen sense of…texture? Shape? Maybe she memorized them all beforehand. Perhaps she’s secretly psychic and can feel the subtle plastic vibrations emanating from each individual doll. Or maybe – just maybe – nineteen Barbie dolls are fairly indistinguishable from one another.
The sheer absurdity of it all is breathtaking. While Rome burns, we laud this…this… feat. Someone please tell me what profound lesson were supposed to learn from this. Because I’m drawing a blank. A very, very blank stare.
