Pickleball Endurance? Seriously?!
Let’s just pause for a moment, shall we? A moment to contemplate the sheer brilliance of humanity. Apparently, our collective drive to achieve something meaningful has now culminated in two individuals in Michigan playing pickleball…for 28 hours straight. Twenty-eight. Hours. Im struggling to process this. Are we truly out of ideas? Have we exhausted every avenue for innovation and self-improvement? Because apparently, the pinnacle of human endeavor is now prolonged paddle slapping on a tiny court.
I mean, congratulations, you broke a record! A pickleball record. Fantastic. Im sure future generations will look back at this moment with awe and reverence, whispering tales of the Michigan pickleball pioneers who bravely battled exhaustion to…hit a plastic ball over a net for an unreasonable amount of time.
I picture them now, fueled by caffeine and sheer stubbornness, their hands raw, their minds likely dissolving into a fuzzy haze of serve-and-volley nonsense. And I ask myself: couldn’t that energy have been directed towards, say, solving world hunger? Or finding a cure for something unpleasant? Or just…sleeping?
This is peak absurdity. This is what weve become. A society obsessed with meaningless achievements and documenting them for the fleeting validation of strangers online. I need a nap.
