The Future is Apparently a Slightly Uncomfortable Sweater
So, they need volunteers. Really? Volunteers? Because apparently developing bleeding-edge technology isnt lucrative enough anymore. Now it’s a heartwarming community outreach program! Let me get this straight: I can now contribute to the advancement of… something… by wearing some ill-fitting garment designed and manufactured in a lab somewhere, presumably while being filmed for inspirational promotional material?
Because that’s exactly what this screams. Join us! Be a pioneer! Experience the future – on your shoulders!” Forget about contributing code or data analysis; apparently, human bodies are the new benchmark for assessing…what even is being assessed? Comfort levels? Aesthetic appeal in low light? The potential for spontaneous combustion while draped in experimental textiles?
Im picturing it now: a sea of smiling, slightly awkward individuals, sporting these technological marvels, all nodding enthusiastically as some executive drones on about “user experience” and “pushing boundaries.” Meanwhile, I’ll be over here, continuing to use my existing clothing, which has the remarkable ability not to require me to surrender my personal time and dignity in exchange for… what exactly? A pat on the head and a framed certificate proclaiming my participation in the great textile-based technological revolution?
Its just…peak absurdity. Really.
