Seriously? A Pig Chase?!
Okay, I need a moment. Apparently, my tax dollars are now funding high-speed pursuits involving pigs. Yes, you read that right. Pigs. In Richmond, Indiana. Because apparently petty theft isn’t dramatic enough anymore? Weve moved on to porcine criminals leading police on wild goose – or rather, wild pig – chases.
Non-traditional suspect, they call it. As if a human being committing a crime is somehow the standard. I can just imagine the officer reporting back: “Dispatch, we’re in pursuit of…a hog.” The sheer absurdity! Did he request backup? A specialized hog-catching unit? Was there a tactical discussion about optimal pig-restraint techniques?
And then – and this is the cherry on top of this ridiculous sundae – straight-up hog wrasslin. Hog. Wrasslin. This isn’t law enforcement; its a county fair gone horribly wrong! I bet the pig won, by the way. They always do.
Honestly, what a monumental waste of time and resources. Meanwhile, real crimes are happening. But no, lets focus on the rogue swine causing chaos in Richmond. It’s just…peak modern existence, isn’t it? A perfect distillation of everything baffling about our current reality. I need a nap. And possibly a very strong drink.
