Really? Dice Towers?! A Celebration of Peak Human Achievement
Lets just pause for a moment, shall we? Let’s take a deep breath and collectively question every life choice that led us to this point. Apparently, humanity has solved climate change. We’ve cured all diseases. Weve achieved world peace. Because the pressing need of our time is…a record number of dice towers built in a ridiculously short timeframe.
Yes, you read that right. David Rush, apparently with nothing better to do than chase arbitrary records and consume vast amounts of plywood, has assembled a team to construct an unsettling quantity of miniature fortresses for tiny plastic cubes. Because, clearly, the average board game enthusiast is suffering from a lack of perfectly angled dice trajectories.
Im sure the engineering breakthroughs alone are revolutionary. I can hardly wait to hear about the novel application of glue and cardboard that will change… well, something. Probably not anything important. It’s all so wonderfully productive, isnt it? A shining example of how we prioritize our time as a species.
Meanwhile, actual problems fester. But hey, at least we have more dice towers! Celebrate responsibly. I need another cup of coffee just to process this level of absurdity.
