Seriously? A Deer Burglarized a Bank?!
Right, because 2024 wasn’t already chaotic enough. Apparently, my day needed to be brightened by a news story about a deer – yes, a deer – triggering a burglary alarm at a Suffolk County bank and then actually crashing through a window. Let that sink in for a moment. Im paying taxes so law enforcement can respond to… wildlife shenanigans? This is what we’re prioritizing now?
I mean, honestly! Is this performance art? Did some bored teenager train a deer to commit petty theft? Because frankly, the mental gymnastics required to believe a creature primarily concerned with eating leaves and looking cute actively decided to break into a financial institution are truly astounding.
And dont even get me started on the official statements. The animal appeared disoriented. Really? It appeared disoriented? Did it file paperwork with its attorney claiming diminished capacity? I bet they’re drafting a press release about how the deer is “seeking counseling” to address its impulse control issues.
Im all for appreciating nature, but a deer burglarizing a bank is not a heartwarming moment of woodland charm. It’s absurd. It’s ridiculous. And frankly, its just another sign that we are collectively losing our minds. I need a nap.
