Peak Human Achievement: Paper Airplanes, Naturally
Seriously? A Texas man? Folding paper airplanes? For an hour? And then declaring it worthy of a Guinness World Record attempt? Is this what we’ve come to? While the world grapples with climate change, political unrest, and increasingly aggressive squirrels, someone decided dedicating their time to meticulously crafting miniature projectiles out of stationery was a worthwhile endeavor. An average of four paper airplanes per minute! Let that sink in. Four. Minute.
Im sure this accomplishment will solve all our problems. We’ll just launch enough folded rectangles into the sky and suddenly, world peace! Poverty eradicated! The Houston Astros will finally lose gracefully!
The article gushes about their flying ability. Flying where? Into a trash can? Across a living room floor? I bet they dont even have sophisticated aerodynamic designs. Probably just triangles and wishful thinking. And the sheer volume of paper involved! Think of all the trees that perished for this fleeting moment of manufactured glory.
I’m genuinely impressed by the dedication to something so utterly pointless, but also deeply, profoundly disappointed in humanitys priorities. Let’s all aspire to folding more things, folks! It’s clearly what we should be doing with our lives.
