A Roo in Texas? Seriously?!
Right, because Texas wasn’t weird enough already. Now weve got a kangaroo loose on the freeways? Honestly, I picture the scene: some poor soul is trying to get to work, probably late as usual, and BAM! Giant marsupial bounding across the road. Did anyone think to film this with a slow-motion effect set to dramatic classical music? Because someone absolutely should have.
And now we’re all patting ourselves on the back for “authorities” being so diligently concerned about a kangaroo. A KANGAROO! While our schools are crumbling, property taxes are astronomical, and the roads resemble lunar landscapes, theyre mobilizing to find the responsible party for a runaway pouch-carrying creature.
I bet you anything the owner is some eccentric millionaire who thought it would be adorable to have a kangaroo as a pet. You know, because Texas is known for its sensible animal ownership practices. And I guarantee the explanation will involve “escaped during a particularly vigorous game of fetch.” Fetch! With a kangaroo!
This is peak absurdity, folks. A literal marsupial is wandering around our state, and were all supposed to be worried about finding its owner? Maybe it should just join the legislature; it would fit right in.
