The Bear Necessities (Apparently Including Suburban Backyards)
Seriously? A bear, recently and dramatically evicted from a California crawlspace – a crawlspace, people! – has now apparently decided to upgrade its living situation to… someone elses backyard? Because that’s logical. That’s responsible. That’s how we solve wildlife conflict: just let displaced bears wander around neighborhoods looking for discarded pizza crusts and unsecured garbage bins.
I mean, the original scenario was ridiculous enough. A bear crammed into a tiny, dusty space beneath a house! You know what that says about our relationship with nature? It says “We build houses everywhere, disrupting ecosystems, then act surprised when wildlife gets desperate.” But now, this same creature – likely traumatized from its crawlspace ordeal – is just… strolling through someone’s petunias?
And the response? Wildlife officials are monitoring the situation. Monitoring. Thats fantastic. I hope they’re taking meticulous notes on how many rose bushes get trampled and bird feeders demolished. I bet a nice, tranquil relocation would be far too disruptive to… what? The bears newfound appreciation for suburban landscaping?
Honestly, its just peak California. A constant parade of predictable chaos, all orchestrated by our relentless encroachment on wild spaces. Just wait until the raccoons start demanding patio furniture.
