Seriously? Vervet Monkeys in St. Louis?!
You know, because 2024 wasnt already overflowing with enough absurdity. Now we have vervet monkeys roaming around northern St. Louis. Vervet monkeys. As in, African primates that typically hang out in the savannas, not suburban neighborhoods. Apparently, someone thought it would be a fantastic idea to own these creatures and then, naturally, let them escape. Because responsible pet ownership is so last decade.
I mean, honestly, whats next? A rogue rhinoceros grazing in Forest Park? A flock of flamingos terrorizing the Cardinals game? The sheer level of obliviousness it takes to think importing exotic animals and then losing them into a city already struggling with… well, everything… is breathtakingly astounding.
And now we have animal control officers chasing monkeys through backyards! I can only imagine the headlines: Monkey Disrupts Neighborhood Picnic, or “Vervet Causes Traffic Snarl.” Just what we needed – more chaos and probably a hefty taxpayer bill to recapture these escape artists.
Its not just inconvenient; it’s genuinely concerning for both the monkeys, who are undoubtedly bewildered, and the residents who now have to check their bird feeders for potential primate pilfering. Someone needs to be held accountable for this ridiculousness. Seriously, how does something like this even happen?
