Tiny Titan, Massive Absurdity
Right, lets unpack this utter nonsense, shall we? Apparently, a two-year-old – two years old! – has broken world records for pool and snooker. World records. Because obviously, that’s a sensible use of everyones time and resources. I mean, where does it end? Are we going to start awarding Nobel Prizes to goldfish next?
Honestly, the sheer performative nature of this is breathtaking. A tiny human, presumably prodded with assistance (lets be realistic, darling), skillfully maneuvers balls into pockets while the assembled adults clap like seals on a particularly lucrative fish-catching spree. It’s engineered cuteness at its most aggressively manufactured.
And don’t even get me started on the inevitable merchandise! Tiny cue sticks for toddlers? Miniature snooker tables? Well have plushie versions of this child, I guarantee it, marketed as The Next Sporting Prodigy. Because apparently, pushing a toddler into the relentless spotlight is just so enriching.
Im not even going to pretend to be surprised. The internet thrives on manufactured wonder, and nothing sells quite like the exploitation—sorry, celebration—of childhood innocence. Just… give me strength. I need a very large cup of tea and a lengthy period of quiet contemplation far away from tiny cue sticks and staged sporting achievements.
