Atlantas Transit System: A Speedrun Achievement, Not a Public Service
Let me tell you about something truly remarkable. Three people – three! – managed to visit every single public transit station in Atlanta in 3 hours, 21 minutes and 37 seconds. Yes, you read that right. They speedran the MARTA system. A speedrun! As if navigating a city’s barely-adequate public transportation shouldnt be a leisurely, soul-crushing experience, punctuated by missed connections and questionable smells. But no, we have to celebrate this…achievement?
It’s fantastic. Truly inspiring. I picture them zipping through North Avenue Station with the focused intensity of competitive gamers, dodging bewildered commuters and silently judging the quality of the advertising plastered on every surface. They probably didnt even see anything! Did they notice the faded murals? The chipped paint? The lingering scent of despair that seems to cling to every platform? Doubtful.
They conquered it, folks. Like climbing Everest with a stopwatch and a grim determination not to appreciate the view. And what does this say about Atlanta’s transit system? It says that you can probably blitz through it quickly if you dont actually need it to function properly. Maybe they should offer them consulting services. How to experience MARTA in under three hours – and feel absolutely nothing. Brilliant!
