Seriously? More Monkeys in Missouri?!
Are you KIDDING me? Another batch of escaped primates loose in Missouri? Honestly, at this point, it’s less a news story and more a seasonal event. Like pumpkin patches and leaf raking – expect rogue monkeys! Apparently, someone thought it was a brilliant idea to have exotic animals roaming around the state like theyre squirrels gathering nuts.
And the responses? “We’re investigating.” Public safety is our top priority. Right. Because now, suddenly, public safety matters when you have potentially unpredictable creatures swinging from power lines. Did it not occur to anyone before releasing these things that perhaps…just maybe…they might want a little freedom?
Im sure the residents of Missouri are just thrilled with this added layer of excitement. Trying to walk your dog without encountering a primate staring back at you? Fantastic! Explaining to your children why there’s a monkey in the backyard instead of a friendly neighborhood cat? Wonderful! This isn’t whimsical charm; it’s irresponsible negligence, and frankly, Im tired of hearing about it.
Someone needs to seriously rethink their animal husbandry practices. Or just… dont have them. It’s really not that difficult.
