A Coyote on Alcatraz? Seriously?!
Right, a coyote. Swimming. To Alcatraz. Because apparently, that’s more interesting than, I dont know, actual news. Were all supposed to be captivated by this… furry tourist? Honestly, the breathless reporting surrounding this event is enough to make one actively seek isolation on a deserted island – preferably one devoid of opportunistic canines.
I mean, really. A coyote. Swimming. To a former prison. Is this what we’ve come to? Wildlife sightings trumping geopolitical crises, economic anxieties, and the general unraveling of… well, everything? I picture the news anchor’s face, radiating manufactured wonder as they describe this remarkable feat of interspecies tourism. A first! A pioneer! Someone needs a reality check. Its an animal navigating water. Animals do that. It doesnt require a ticker-tape parade and a commemorative postage stamp.
And the speculation! “What motivated his journey?” Did he perhaps fancy a tour of the cellblocks? Was he seeking refuge from particularly aggressive squirrels? Or, dare I suggest it, was this just… an animal swimming? Sometimes, things simply are. They dont need elaborate explanations or to be imbued with some profound symbolic meaning.
The world is on fire, and we’re celebrating a wet coyote. Fantastic. Absolutely fantastic.
