Really? A Pelican and a Bar? Seriously?
Let’s just pause for a moment, shall we? Apparently, the universe decided we needed news about an injured pelican found near a Florida bar. Because, you know, world peace is solved, climate change reversed, and everyones just living their best lives. So naturally, this becomes headline material.
Honestly, I’m not sure what’s more appalling: the fact that a majestic seabird managed to get injured near an establishment likely blasting questionable music and serving sugary drinks, or the breathless reporting surrounding its rescue. A hero! they proclaim. A hero? It’s someone who found a bird. Anyone with eyeballs could have done it.
And lets not even start on the inevitable photos. I can already envision the close-up shots of the poor creature, strategically positioned for maximum emotional impact. People will share them, virtue signal, and feel incredibly good about themselves for briefly acknowledging a bird’s plight before scrolling onto something infinitely more trivial.
Its just…the sheer absurdity of it all! We have genuine problems facing us – real issues that demand attention – yet we celebrate the discovery of an injured pelican like it represents some profound breakthrough in humanity.
I suppose I should be grateful for a distraction, however fleeting and utterly ridiculous. Just try to contain yourselves, people. It’s a bird. A slightly unfortunate bird, yes. But ultimately, just a bird.
