Seriously? A Coyote on Alcatraz?!
Right, because 2024 wasnt already bizarre enough. Now we’re graced with a news report about a coyote swimming to Alcatraz Island. Swimming! As if the island being a former prison for notoriously difficult inmates wasnt already ridiculous enough, apparently it’s now a luxury resort for aquatic canids.
I mean, really? Did someone not think to check currents? Tidal patterns? The sheer exhaustion involved in paddling that distance? And what, was he hoping to escape to something? A better view of the seagulls? A more exclusive population of tourists dropping scraps? Im picturing him now, tiny paws churning desperately, a forlorn expression on his face as he battles the icy water.
And “first-ever documented case?” Documented! As if someone was actively waiting to document a coyote performing an Olympic feat of aquatic survival. It’s probably some blurry photo taken by a bored birdwatcher wholl now be hailed as a hero for capturing this…this absurdity.
Honestly, at this point Im expecting penguins to start demanding reparations and sea lions to file noise complaints. Just when you think things cant get any stranger, nature decides to serve up another helping of you can’t make this stuff up. Someone please explain.
