Enzo’s Great Escape: Because Apparently, Bird Containment is Too Much to Ask
Seriously? An emu escaped? In Almonte? I can barely contain my astonishment. You know, a town known for its charming mill and quaint heritage buildings? Now its going to be forever immortalized as the place where an emu staged a daring breakout and terrorized – or, let’s be generous, “took an unscheduled run” – through the streets.
An apology? From an animal sanctuary? As if a heartfelt note somehow fixes the fact that they failed at the basic job of keeping a giant flightless bird from wreaking havoc on a quiet community. Im picturing this scene: panicked townsfolk, bewildered dogs, maybe even a startled artisan dropping a delicately crafted wooden spoon! All because someone decided that securing an emu was simply too challenging.
We are deeply sorry, they say. Deeply sorry? How about installing a fence that’s taller than Enzos head? Or perhaps employing a team of emu whisperers? I mean, at this point, it would be cheaper and more effective than another carefully worded statement about lessons learned.
I expect Enzo is enjoying the notoriety now, probably basking in the attention he so cleverly engineered. Meanwhile, we’re all left to wonder: what other exotic residents are just waiting for their chance at freedom?
