Seriously? Horned Suspects Now?
Right, because we don’t have enough to worry about. Apparently, police in Washington were diverted from, you know, actual crime-fighting to deal with a “horned suspect” attempting to breach a retirement home. A horned suspect! I mean, where do people even come up with this stuff? Are we now expected to believe that mythical creatures are suddenly staging break-ins at senior living facilities?
Honestly, the sheer absurdity of it all is breathtaking. One can only imagine the bewildered expressions on the faces of both the responding officers and the residents. I bet someones sitting in a press conference somewhere right now, gravely explaining how this unique threat was neutralized. Neutralized! As if we’re battling a Minotaur instead of… well, whatever ridiculous scenario spawned this story.
It wouldnt surprise me to learn that it was a particularly elaborate Halloween decoration gone rogue, or a prankster with a questionable sense of humor and an affinity for novelty headwear. But no, we have to entertain the possibility—the possibility—that a creature resembling a woodland deity was actively trying to force its way into a building filled with elderly people.
This is precisely why I avoid news these days. It’s just… too much.
