Seriously? A Donkey Named Dolly Parton Was a Police Matter?!
Are we really doing this, folks? I swear, every day brings fresh evidence that society has completely lost its grip on reality. Now, instead of dealing with actual crime – you know, theft, violence, the sort of things police departments are ostensibly for – our valiant Michigan State Troopers were occupied… capturing a miniature donkey. A miniature donkey. Named Dolly Parton. I’m not even joking.
Apparently, this tiny equine escaped its pasture and was causing a “traffic hazard.” A traffic hazard! I picture it, a minuscule gray cloud of stubbornness ambling along the shoulder, forcing motorists to perform elaborate maneuvers to avoid stepping on it. The sheer absurdity is breathtaking. Did anyone stop to consider that maybe, just maybe, Dolly Parton simply wanted a little adventure?
And the Michigan State Police? They had to be involved! I can only imagine the heroic photoshoots of officers gently corralling this miniature menace. Resources diverted from… what exactly? Solving actual problems? It’s a glorious monument to misplaced priorities, isnt it? I bet there was a detailed report filed. “Suspect: Miniature Equine, Status: Apprehended.” I weep for the future.
