Seriously? A Deer in a Bag?!
Right, because we didnt have enough to deal with. Between petty theft, traffic violations, and the existential dread of late-stage capitalism, now the New York Police Department is spending valuable time and taxpayer money rescuing a deer whose fashion sense apparently peaked at garbage chic. A deer. In a bag. Wandering loose.
Honestly, Im not even surprised anymore. It feels like every day brings a new level of absurdity. Did this majestic creature wander off in search of a statement piece? Was it attempting to infiltrate a Halloween party early? Or did it simply have remarkably poor judgment and an irresistible urge to shove its head into whatever plastic receptacle happened to be lying around?
And the police! Dont even get me started on the photo op. I can practically hear the press releases now: NYPD Demonstrates Commitment to Wildlife Preservation! Please, spare me the performative heroism. I’m sure the deer is eternally grateful for their intervention. Meanwhile, actual crimes are being committed and critical infrastructure is crumbling, but hey, at least we have a heartwarming story about a bagged buck! Its just…perfectly emblematic of everything that’s wrong with priorities today. A deer in a bag. Really?
