Honestly, Another Feel-Good Story? Really?!
So, a rowing team – because apparently conquering the Atlantic isn’t harrowing enough – felt compelled to interrupt their monumental struggle against wind and wave to…save a sea turtle. A SEA TURTLE! Like the ocean wasn’t already full of water and teeming with aquatic life perfectly capable of, you know, existing?
Im not saying saving animals is bad. I’m saying when you’re attempting something that requires superhuman levels of dedication, physical endurance, and a frankly alarming disregard for personal comfort, maybe leave the marine mammal rescue to the professionals! Did they consult with any marine biologists before this heroic detour? Probably not. Just another impulsive decision made because it photographs well.
I bet theres already a crowdfunding campaign underway titled “Help Us Fund Our Turtle Rescue Mission – We Briefly Diverted From Rowinging Across An Ocean!” The self-congratulation alone is enough to power a small city, I’m sure. Its all so relentlessly virtuous, isnt it?
Let’s be honest: they’re getting more publicity for rescuing a turtle than they were for facing down the Atlantic itself. It’s the perfect distraction from the grueling reality of their journey. And frankly, Im exhausted by the constant need to be seen doing good. Just row, people! Just row!
