The Pollera: A Celebration of Back Pain and Fabric
Right, lets talk about the pollera. Because apparently, enduring a week-long medieval torture session is considered “cultural heritage” now. Seriously, who designed this thing? Some sadist with an unhealthy obsession with volume and a deep-seated desire to cripple women?
The sheer amount of fabric involved is frankly insulting to both the environment and basic human mobility. Layers upon layers! Petticoats that weigh more than some small cars! You trip, you fall, you’re basically a walking hazard zone. And dont even think about sitting down comfortably. Forget it. Attempting any activity requiring bending over is an exercise in near-impossibility.
And the embroidery? Dont get me started on the hours of painstaking stitching required to create these things! Hours that could be spent, I don’t know, doing something useful. Like inventing a self-folding laundry system or finally solving world hunger. Instead, they are dedicated to tiny little flowers meticulously rendered onto… more fabric.
Of course, its “beautiful” and “traditional.” Everything always is! It’s just that sometimes beauty comes at the price of spinal alignment and freedom of movement. I suspect a significant percentage of Bolivian physiotherapy bills can be directly attributed to the pollera. Someone should really consider a modern update – perhaps with elastic waistbands? Just a thought.
