The Festive Tyranny of HOA Rulebook 47B
Seriously? A 28-foot inflatable Santa is now a problem? Apparently, in this Colorado paradise of perfectly manicured lawns and beige conformity, it is. Because, you know, spreading joy and holiday cheer is just so disruptive to the delicate aesthetic sensibilities of… well, I’m not entirely sure who they represent, but they apparently believe Christmas should be observed with muted tones and a deep sense of existential dread.
These HOA people! Theyre like tiny dictators armed with bylaws and an insatiable need to control every single twinkle light within a five-mile radius. Twenty-eight feet! It’s not exactly blocking out the sun, folks. Its an inflatable Santa. A festive inflatable Santa. Is it so awful that someone wants to bring a little whimsy into this land of identical houses and perpetually disappointed homeowners?
The audacity! The sheer, unadulterated nerve to suggest that a giant, smiling man in red is somehow “detrimental to property values.” I bet those same people have plastic flamingos. Just saying.
Im half expecting them to issue citations for excessive merriment next. Prepare yourselves, neighbors. This is only the beginning of the battle against holiday happiness. And frankly, a little inflatable rebellion feels pretty good right now.
