## The Peak of Pointless: A Balloon Tree Rant
Right, let’s talk about this, shall we? Because apparently, Birmingham needed a 25-foot monument to…what exactly? Excessive expenditure and questionable artistic choices? Yes, that’s it. A Christmas tree crafted from *one hundred thousand* balloons. One. Hundred. Thousand. Balloons. I can barely assemble a coherent thought before my coffee gets cold, and someone managed to orchestrate the logistical nightmare of inflating and affixing that many latex spheres together.
Seriously, who woke up one morning and thought, “You know what this city needs? A giant, potentially terrifying orb of slowly deflating festive cheer?” Was there a committee? Were feasibility studies conducted? Did anyone stop to consider the sheer volume of helium required, or the inevitable cleanup when the whole thing inevitably collapses in a sad, shriveled heap?
It’s not whimsical. It’s wasteful. It’s an exercise in demonstrating how much money you have without actually contributing anything meaningful. I bet they didn’t even use biodegradable balloons. Of course they didn’t. Because why would they?
Meanwhile, there are actual charities needing support, communities facing genuine hardship, and the planet groaning under the weight of our consumerist excesses. And we’re celebrating with a balloon tree. Just…fantastic. Absolutely brilliant. I need another coffee.
