## Seriously? A Stratospheric Teddy Bear Rescue Mission?!
Right, let’s just take a moment to process this. Apparently, a teddy bear – yes, *a plush toy* – decided to take an unscheduled trip to the stratosphere and now we’re all expected to participate in a frantic search-and-rescue operation? I mean, honestly! Is there anything more ridiculous than dedicating school resources—precious time that could be spent on, you know, actual learning—to tracking down a fluffy projectile launched into the upper atmosphere?
I’m sure it was *absolutely vital* for little Timmy’s emotional well-being to have Reginald (because all teddy bears are named Reginald, aren’t they?) back in his arms. But couldn’t someone – anyone! – have simply bought him another one? A slightly less cosmically-traveled Reginald, perhaps?
The sheer logistical nightmare this must be is astounding. We’re supposed to be monitoring weather patterns, calculating descent trajectories, and mobilizing volunteers all for a bear that probably looks like a deflated dust bunny by now after its brief foray into near space.
This isn’t heartwarming; it’s a monument to misplaced priorities. I fully expect we’ll get updates on Reginald’s journey complete with dramatic music and tearful reunions. Meanwhile, the rest of us are just over here trying to understand basic algebra. Fantastic. Truly remarkable.
